translunary
by SorridoSole
Summary: It shines on us, it changes for us. The constant reminder that I am plagued. Because I am swayed by the light of the moon." From first bite, the story of one Remus John Lupin ... ABANDONED, SEE SUBLUNARY FOR CONTINUATION!
1. Chapter 1: the bite

**Preamble.**

Through the trees, and down a river, Deep in an unnamed valley in northern Europe, sits a quaint blue cottage with a white picket fence. The paint is just as it was fifty years ago. The windows are dark, and the trees grow closer and closer by the day, a predator slowly stalking its prey. The roof is slate and uneven, but solid, as if weather has never touched its surface. The door is bolted shut.

Inside, dust covers ghostly old furniture, protected by ancient stained bed sheets. The front door leads to the sitting room, tiny, cozy, with a white brick fireplace and sky blue walls. If clean, it would seem to belong in southern France. Faux yellow flowers sit dingy in a crystal vase on a corner table. Pictures, some still and dead, yellow in frames on the mantel, while others wave enthusiastically at no one in particular, a monotonous existence of people long gone.

Through a thin doorway is the kitchen, its tiles neglected and dirty. 2 plates with napkins and forks are placed on the table eerily, as if its occupancy suddenly left existence just before they sat down to eat. A bowl and cutting board remain in the sink, crusted from unwashed meals.

Through the sitting room once more, and up a narrow winding staircase, the attic is yet another ghost . The walls here are paneled in unfinished planks. Posters are scattered in no particular pattern, or have fallen to the floor. A scarlet and gold flag with a rearing lion hangs in pristine condition over a perfectly made bed. On the bed; a wrapped package, its paper plain brown, with yellow and blue ribbon giving it some festive hints. A note sits atop the package, signed by a mother long distant from her child.

Fifty years ago, in a quaint blue cottage with a white picket fence, the Lupin family prepared their only son for bed. Remus was a joyful boy, with light brown hair and twinkling blue eyes. As an energetic 6 year old with a passion for astronomy like his father, he was particularly hard to put to sleep tonight.

"Daddy can't I stay out and watch the moon with you tonight?" he wined, John Lupin looked over towards his wife Mary for an answer. She remained strict.

"No. It's late as it is. And he has school tomorrow." She said sternly. "Maybe on the weekend."

"Oh, come on Mary," John whined just as well as his son. "at least for one glance at it? It's the harvest moon, after all."

She huffed. "Fine. But if he doesn't get up in time for school, you're the one bringing him."

John smiled and lifted his son into his arms. Remus was small for his age, and the feety-pajamas given to him by his grandparents were a bit to big.

"be careful! And not too long, now." Mary called from the kitchen door.

John carried Remus outside along a dirt trail leading towards a large oak tree a few hundred yards from the house. Here a winding staircase circled the tree, leading to a small platform above the foliage, held up by too little support beams, and too much magic.. The trees and the sky were the only things visible for miles. The platform was empty, save for a large telescope at one end. Remus struggled out of his Father's arms, and ran towards the telescope.

"Daddy, look!" he pointed up at something in the sky. Remus grabbed the end of the telescope and pointed it in that direction. "It's a comet, I think! I can see it's tail!"

John watched his son with pride. "Remus, looked at the moon."

Remus turned towards his father and looked up. The moon was yellow, and so bright it lit up his face with odd shadows. "Oh, wow! Daddy, that's the harvest moon?"

"Yes."

"It's pretty!" he smiled, his eyes big and bright.

"Yes, it is."

They stared up at it for a few moments, until a howl off in the distance broke the silence. John looked down at his son. "We better be getting back, your Mother is going to have my head."

"Okay." he said reluctantly.

"Come on, if we get home fast enough, maybe we can have some hot cocoa."

"Okay!" Remus flew down the stairs with the enthusiasm and speed of any child persuaded with sweets. His father followed him a bit more slowly. When he got down to the ground, Remus was out of sight.

"Remus?" he called. He heard his son's laughter. "Remus!"

"Daddy!" Remus called back. He was still no where in sight. "Look!"

"Remus where are you?"

John heard Remus giggle again.

"Doggy!" he heard Remus say. A low growl echoed through the woods. John's heart jumped. His son shrieked.

"Remus! Get back here!"

Suddenly, from behind him, he heard a snarl. John spun on his heels.

A wolf, massive and strong, glared at him. An evil smile seemed to trace its bloody chops. Blood that was not its own….

He heard his son's whimpers, vicious growls, the rustle of the woods…and he froze.

The wolf gave him an awful look, its eyes full of hunger, before retreating. Remus' whimpers faded.

--

"He's dangerous Sir! He is a monster now, and you best get rid of him, before it's too late. The ministry can take care of it with dignity and-" the voice was pompous and sharp, and even though Remus didn't know what he was saying, he didn't like it.

"Get the hell out of the way, before I hex you!"

"Sir, its regulation. Don't make me call security- "

"Regulation my ass, that's my son in there. My _son. _Not some monster. You're not taking him away from me."

Remus moaned. His father's yells were off somewhere. He didn't know where. His eyelids felt heavy. He heard a door click.

"Sir, Remus is awake." said a gentle female voice.

"Sedate him again. There's no need for him to be awake at this point."

"No! You're all monsters! I want to see my son!"

"John, be quiet." said his mother.

"I'm afraid that is against hospital policy sir, all lycanthropes are to be quarantined."

"Remus!" Remus heard shuffling, and suddenly a hand was upon his own.

"Daddy?" he whispered. He opened his eyes. John was staring at him desperately.

"Remus?"

"Daddy, what happened?" his voice was weak. It hurt to speak.

"You're in St. Mungo's. Remus, I'm not going to leave you. These people are bad people. I'm going to get you out of here."

"Bad…?"

"Very bad. No, Remus, don't fall asleep. Don't-"

"It hurts." he said softly. His eyes would not stay open.

"Where does it hurt?" his Father's voice softened.

"S-shoulder….. Head." he winced as pain shot through his skull. Remus swallowed thickly, and sobbed "hurts."

"I know Remus, I know." he squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"What happened to the dog?" he whispered. He tried to open his eyes again. His head was swimming with pain, dizziness, and nausea.

"It's gone now Remus, It's not going to hurt you anymore…. I won't let anything hurt you any more."

"I-…Daddy, I wanted to help it, It looked lost," He sobbed "I wanted to… I can't remember- Daddy, it hurts, m-make it stop."

"I'm sorry Son, So sorry." he sounded helpless.

"Tired…."

"Don't fall asleep Remus, stay awake, you need to stay awake."

Without another word, Remus drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2:the first full moon

The first full moon

Werewolf was taboo in the Lupin household. Mary flat out refused to speak about it, John found that he couldn't. Remus followed suit, but it seemed he hadn't change at all, and only forbid himself from the subject for his parent's sake. In the last 20 days since the bite, it appeared as though Remus had merely hurt his shoulder. He had lost some weight on account of his new metabolism, but overall, was not anything someone would call a werewolf, at least, not a the moment..

It was 3 o'clock now; three hours until the moon rose full. John, being the apothecary that he was, was busy preparing potions to rival a werewolf's enhanced body. Mary was going about her usual routine of cleaning the already spotless house. When she checked the time, she seemed to tense slightly.

"Remus!" she called

A stampede could be heard coming down the attic stairs, and a door opened into the living room.

"Yes Mother?" said Remus obediently

"Remus, do you know what is happening tonight?"

He nodded. "It's the full moon." He said

"Yes, and you are going to… well, we don't really know. You are going to transform."

Remus nodded again.

"Your Father and I are going to bring you to a shed we have built for you. We are going to have to lock you in there. If you need us, we won't be able to get in the until the moon sets, do you understand?"

He nodded again. Her eyes seemed to soften for a moment from their usual sharpness as she put her had on his shoulder.

"Are you scared?"

He shook his head.

"Are you?" he asked.

She smiled slightly.

"It going to be fine, Mum. I'll be fine. Don't worry."

She pulled him into a tight hug.

--the actual full moon!!--

Remus walked between Mary and John off the dirt path leading farther and farther into the dense forest. They walked as the sun set, a beautiful sight in the surroundings if it were not for the circumstances. Soon, they found themselves at a small clearing where a sturdy metal shed sat on one end. As they neared the shed, the sun set further.

John drew his wand and tapped it against the industrial style door. It slid open with a scratch. Remus looked to the darkness within it. He stepped forward, but before he could reach it, his father pulled him into a hug.

"Whatever happens," he whispered as he pulled him into a hug "You are my son. Whatever this does to you, I'm sorry I can't make it go away. Whatever happens, I love you." hid voice was shaking Remus looked up and saw his Father's eyes welling with tears.

He felt his Mother kiss his head. Then, all to soon, they let him go. He walked into the darkness. He turned to them one last time, with a smile containing reassurance he suddenly did not feel himself. They returned the smile sadly. The door slide closed as the sun dipped under the horizon.

He stood for a moment, awkwardly in the dark. Then, he felt a twinge in the base of his spine, combined with a sudden fear of realization. His fingers tingled as though they had a lack of blood supply. He closed his eyes for a moment….

He awoke in his bed. John was standing over him, suddenly cracking a smile. He became aware of the dull ache in all of his muscles. As he tried to sit up, he felt a shot of pain from his back.

"Sit back son, It's alright." John handed him a steaming vial "Try this, it's a pain killer."

Remus drank it carefully, feeling the liquid slide down his sore throat. He immediately felt the potion begin working.

"T-Thanks." his voice was raspy. Remus began to examine his hands and arms, which were covered in gauze and bandages.

"You tore yourself up." said John, almost reading his mind. "But you have already begun healing. It shouldn't be more than a few days before your off and running again."

"What happened?"

"I don't know, son. Do you remember anything?"

"N-no, nothing."

John visibly relaxed. This must have been a silent fear.

--second full moon (not nearly as exciting as the first, not that I call the first exciting)--

Remus viewed himself in the mirror. The changes in him had been gradual, but enough to spike his own interest. His hair, once clean cut by orders of his Mother, grew long. "Hoodlum hair" Mary called it, and no matter how often she cut it, it grew back in the night. It was presentable, though slightly disheveled. His face had lost some of it's baby fat, so that, though he was still small for his age, he looked a bit older. His body too, was leaner. The clothes that had once fit him only slightly baggy, now hung off him like droopy skin. And his eyes. Here was the difference that really startled his Mother, and amazed his Father. His eyes had once been sparkling crystal clear blue, like John's. Now, the day of the full moon, they were pure black. But a little over a week ago, the epicenter on both full moons, they had been a sparkling gold.

His hearing had improved, he heard his parents in a quiet discussion down stairs. His Mother said to his Father that it was almost time to leave, to get Remus ready.

"I'm coming!" he shouted down to them.

They walked towards the clearing with a bit less tension than the previous moon, but an overlaying concern lingered. Remus underwent the same hugs and encouragement, though they didn't have as much meaning this time. He was locked in. This time, the darkness wasn't so dense. His eyes adjusted immediately, he could see the thin outline of the walls. Suddenly he felt a twinge in the base of his spine. His fingers tingled. His head began to ache, a dull pound to a sudden sharpness. he closed his eyes….

And awoke in bed with his Father standing over him once more.

--End chapter--

So yeah, that's the second chapter, not really exciting, more of a filler, but I wanted to get it up. Anyway, I want to put it out there that a lot of the ideas for this story from my cousin Jessie, or xStarfirexRobinxo ,she is fabulous!! She's helping me with the story line and what-not. I on the other hand, can't stay on track with it, and so far have 3 chapters about Remus being in Hogwarts. But I can't use them (gerr) until I get to that part in the story. So, my wonderful readers, tell me what you think of it, I like constructive criticism, it helps me write a better story. Just think, one simple comment on your part can make a story worlds better!! Feel the power!! Mwahaha! (sorry, evil laughs are addicting) anyway, so leave a comment, please! I'll get the next chapter up ASAP without it being crap. Love you all, Happy reading!

Xoxo,

Valerie!!


	3. Chapter 3: nightmares and fights

(A/n) before we start. If you don't know already, Remus was born March 10th 1960. I'm going to mark some parts of chapters by year, so if your confused, just know that he was born 1960. ANYWAY, now its spring 1968, so Remus is… (drum roll please)… eight! Okay, glad we cleared it up. So nearly two years have past, lets see what's happening.

"_Hey, Lupin!"_

_He ignored the shouts as usual._

"_Hey, I'm talkin' to you!" an older and taller boy caught up with him._

_Remus acted as though he wasn't there, and kept walking._

"_Don't you talk?"_

_Remus continued to walk, pulling his books up to his chest._

"_You're a freak. A squib. You haven't done no magic. You know that. And son of the town drunk. Your daddy isn't so great, is he? "_

_Remus's grip tightened. _

"_You don't belong in this town, a town for normal magic. Heck, you ain't even magic! I don't care what they say about you, Wolf."_

_He flinched._

"_W-What?" he whispered, hoping he heard the boy wrong._

"_You're the Werewolf we hear, down my the Blindman's gorge. You're a freak! A monster!"_

"_B-But I-" _

"_don't speak! I don't want to hear your filthy words!"_

_A crowd gathered from nowhere, began jeering, booing. They surrounded him, making him feel claustrophobic. The taller boy pulled a clove of something out of his pocket. As the scent drifted towards Remus, he understood. It was Wolfsbane. He felt his throat tighten at the repulsive aroma. He gasped, but a pain in his chest made him chock desperately for air. He began to feel an intenese throbbing in his head, the wold inside him was trying to break free, Remus struggle to gain control of his mind. Fear overtook him as he realized how strong the wold really was. Now His father appeared in front of him. He shouted that he was a disgrace to their family, how he was a monster, and he would be a burden forever. Remus, or rather, the wolf, smelt the fire whiskey on his breath. It stung his nostrils and made him want to vomit. The room started to spin. The ground caught up with him, and opened, he was falling into blackness, but a light was coming nearer. It was the moon… It was full. The wolf came, larger than he had ever imagined, attacked. He felt it tear at him, ripping him to shreds. Then he saw his mother He tried to call out to her, but all that came were snarls. The wolf turned to her, got ready to pounce, he tried to stop it…._

He woke up gasping for breath. It took him a moment to realize it was just a dream. Just a dream….

He sat up and put his head in his hands, feeling a rush of memories pour into his head.

_His Father hadn't come home until late that night. His mother was already asleep, tired of having to wait for John to come home at a ridiculous hour. Remus was only awake because werewolves are nocturnal…_

_John stumbled through the door_, _his breath smelling strongly of fire whiskey. As he caught sight of Remus, he began to yell, tell him off for being his son, a disgrace, he pushed him down to the floor… ._

No, Dad couldn't really think that of him, could he? But John was an honest drunk if anything. No matter how hurtful, he told it like it was. So this must be true….

Remus realized he could hear his parents' voices yelling downstairs. His mother's voice was shrill and shaking with rage, his father's voice was weary, as though he had heard this many times before.

"Mary, I said I was sorry, what more do you want?"

"What do I want?! You should know by now! I've only told you this every day this month! Stop acting this way!!"

"I can act any way I want to! And If I want to, I can have my spiked butterbeer, thank you very much!! Besides, you don't know what I've gone through!!"

"Yeah? Enlighten me. I'm _dying _to know"

"Well, For one, I have a business to run, which isn't doing so well, if you haven't noticed!"

"Of course I've noticed, I'm the one who manages our gringotts account!"

"Well, I can't do anything about it, with Remus the way he is!"

"Don't you bring Remus into this!"

He stared at her for a moment, and lowered his voice to a whisper, which Remus was able to pick up by his enhanced senses.

"It's him, or problem, and you know it Mary! I have to have a permit, to let people know there's a damn werewolf in my family, which gets rid of business pretty fast. I tell them the werewolf is my nephew, so Remus doesn't have to worry right now. But he will have to eventually, we have to register him with the Werewolf Regulation and Control in one more full moon or they will come take him away. It's his consequences, and his bloody curse. "

"Remus isn't to blame for what he is. If anything, you are."

"How-…. You can't seriously blame me, can you?"

"Watch me. You upset that werewolf about a week before he was bitten, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but- You can't think I could give a werewolf a lethal poison when I know what he is?"

"What he is, is what our son is too, don't you forget that! And as far as I know, Remus isn't any dark creature."

"I never said he was!!" He was yelling now "He is a monster on a full moon, and when he's angry and upset, but you can't believe I think my son is dark."

"I believe you just said so."

"Mary, you can't seriously… bloody hell! You know I love Remus more than anything, but he's a burden sometimes!"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT JOHN!! Remus deserves better than that. Get out of this house, before I curse you into an oblivion!"

"So that's it then? You're kicking me out of my own house? May I remind you that you'll be kicked out by the bank in a month with no income!!"

"It's better than you being here! If you hadn't done this before, maybe you would have a chance, but honestly, You've used up your chances!!"

"You-- I- I won't be gone forever. You will beg me to come back, and you know it."

"Yeah, I wouldn't count on it, after what you said to _My _son last night."

"I was smashed, okay? I admit it! I had too much at the pub. You're kicking me out for that!!"

"It's not that you were drunk" Mary said evenly "But what you did to Remus. I won't have any husband of mine acting that way."

She summoned his overnight bag from the hall cupboard and shoved it into his arms.

"You can come get the rest of your things tomorrow."

He glared daggers at her for a moment.

"Fine."

He turned, and for a moment, hesitated before wrenching the door open. It slammed closed behind him.

"Mother?" Remus had come down from his Attic bedroom, and stood pressed against the stairwell door.

"Oh, Remus." He walked over to him and pulled him into a hug.

"It's okay Mum." he said, patting her back.

After a few moments, Mary pulled away, and held Remus at arms length.

"You're always so strong." she said, sobbing. "I'm sorry this is happening."

"Mum, it's not really happened yet. Things could change."

"But, I can't forgive your Father, Remus, not after what he did to you."

Remus gazed at his mother for a moment.

"But, He's right Mum….. A werewolf _is_ a monster."

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(A/N) Poor Remus!! I love him so much, but I need to make a story interesting. Anyway, sorry I didn't update sooner, major writers block for this story. Anyway, read and review, because I love reviews, a lot a lot, they make me happy, and me happy means more chapters. Thanks so much, and happy reading!

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	4. Chapter 4:a monster

Last chapter: "But, He's right Mum….. A werewolf _is_ a monster."

"Remus, what-, you-….." she trailed off, not knowing what to say. She chose her next words carefully.

"Sweetheart, you understand, that, you're not a werewolf all the time, and you are not a monster?"

"I am a monster though….. I can't blame Father for leaving." He said solemnly. _Father…_ usually it was Dad or Daddy, or even Dada, but _Father…_

"Remus, your Father… I don't want you to think-"

"Father doesn't want a monster as a son, most people wouldn't. Everyone says so."

"Who is everyone Remus? "

Remus shrunk back a little. "The kids in town." he stated guiltily

"Remus! You've been in town?"

"Y-Yes-"

"I told you never to go there ! What were you thinking! You could've been hurt, or lost, or the other kids-"

"But, Mum, I never get to go anywhere, you won't let me go to school, or Diagon Alley, or to Dad's shop, I can't stay put."

"I know Sweetheart, but I don't want you around people who could have a grudge against your condition."

"Well, t-they do, they told me. They don't know I am one, but-"

"You understand, Remus, that you cannot talk to these children, or the adults in town, unless you are very careful about what you say. If you let something slip, they won't let us stay here anymore."

"I thought Father said we were going to get kicked out anyway?"

"Oh, no Remus, we're not going to get kicked out. I'll make sure of that."

Remus nodded.

"I'm going to go finish my book." Said Remus, finishing the conversation suddenly.

"Alright, be sure to come down for tea."

"Yes, ma'am."

He ran thunderously up the stairs.

--Full moon--

It feels strange, walking here without Father. Mum is quiet, so am I. We've reached the meadow as the sun becomes a big red fireball in the sky. This time Mum unlocks the shed. She turns towards the door, but not before I see a tear rolling down her check.

I did that. I made Father leave. Because I am a wolf. A dark creature. A burden. I don't tell Mother what I think, she doesn't need any more problems with Him gone. I kiss her goodbye, and step into the

not-so darkness that my eyes adjust to so easily now. I stand in the center, and remove my jumper, then my shorts. I learned the hard way when my lucky shirt was destroyed. Now I stand, naked. I'm really glad no one is here to see me, skinny, pale, and covered in scars. The sun set. The moon is rising.

I feel the familiar twinge in the base of his spine. My fingers tingle, as if there is a lack of blood supply. My head is aching. I have to shut my eyes, the ache is sharp in my temples, but this time, darkness isn't coming like it has so many times. Why is it not coming? The pain is spreading, the pain I feel when I am in a growth spurt.

Sharp pain as a bone in my shoulder breaks. I never felt that before. I cry out, falling to the ground and again it happened, now I feel the bones crack, realign, felt lengthen some more. I call for Mother desperately, though I know she can't come. The flesh on my back feels stretched, I feel a stinging sensation as is rips open. Blood is dripping down my back, blood that made me go crazy… have to rip, have to- no stay in control… the blood, sweet, sweet blood! I snarl, feeling instinct take over in a sudden swipe of any control, I am a monster, a savage, I must kill…..

I feel achy, waking up in my bed once more. This time, no one is standing over me.

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(a/n) sorry it so short, but that seemed like a good place to stop it for now. I feel terrible for Remus, but he's accepted that he is a monster now, so the transformations... he understands what he becomes, so now he watches himself become that, i suppose. It makes sense in my head. anyway, new chapter soon, READ AND REVIEW!! i love reviews so so much. thanks again and happy reading!!


	5. Chapter 5:registration

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I do not own harry potter!! or Remus or really anyone. I wish i did though, i wish i did...

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He felt worse than ever after the last full moon, but his mother was making him get out of bed. His dress shirt rubbed uncomfortably against his skin, and he stumbled walking down the stairs, his legs weak and shaky. In the bathroom, he glimpsed himself in the mirror. He had a gash on the side of his face that was slightly healed thanks to his mother's healing charms. His shoes were uncomfortable, he was used to wearing his worn out Converse around the house and in the woods, not shiny pinch-y dress shoes. When he stepped out of the bathroom his Mother looked him over.

"Perhaps I can manage some glamour for that cut. And did you brush your hair?"

He nodded. She went in to the kitchen to grab her wand.

"Mother, shouldn't you always have your wand with you? It said in the Daily Prophet that we should try to be safe."

"Remus, you know I don't like using magic a great deal, and as for safety, this war has been going on for years, and it has yet to affect us. We are perfectly safe in this house."

She flicked her wand and smiled slightly.

"That's better. Now come on, we should get there ahead of time to make a good impression."

They walked towards the fireplace. Remus took some of the glimmering Floo powder from the vase on the mantle as he had used a sparse few times before. He stood for a moment, barely breathing.

"Remus dear, are you alright?"

"No. I've heard what they do to… to people like me during Registration."

"I'm sure those are myths honey, besides, how could they do anything to an innocent child?" He glanced at her, and she smiled encouragingly. He stepped forward. There wasn't really a choice, at any rate.

"Ministry of Magic!" he shouted, and was engulfed in green flames. He was spinning in an unfamiliar blur of green and flickers of wizarding abodes. He began to feel sick and closed his eyes, stumbling out onto a marble floor just seconds later. He choked on some ash but managed to land on his feet. He brushed himself off and looked around. He had never been to the Ministry of Magic before. It was amazing. The Atrium was huge, carved from the riches varieties of stone. Up ahead over the heads of the commuting crowd, he could see a glimmer of gold. His Mother appeared beside him.

"Stay close Remus." she said, and he followed her into the crowd. They crossed the Atrium in a sea of tall people, entered the elevator, and found their way into the entrance room of the Werewolf control and Regulations office.

"Lupin, Remus" a woman's voice called from the counter as they walked in, and a door off the entry room open. Remus hesitated before entering the dark room. Mary made to follow her son, but the door promptly shut in her face.

She reached for the doorknob, and received what felt like an electric shock. Feeling a rush of overwhelming concern, she sank in the chair beside the door.

Mary looked around. It looked like a dreary doctors office; dark wood paneling, old carpet, and mismatched chairs complete with a few out of date magazines. Another woman sat across from her, reading the most recent issue of Witch Weekly. Mary spotted the girl at the counter, who smiled. She had dark hair and olive skin, with a slightly downcast look of being overworked. Though she was young, possibly a new Hogwarts alumni, she wore her hair up professionally, and her robes were spotless black.

Mary returned her smile half-heartedly, and to her surprise, the girl gestured her over.

"Registration?" she asked . Mary nodded.

"Your son?"

"Yes."

"Is he scared?"

She nodded and sighed "I… I just feel terrible having to bring him here, he doesn't deserve to be treated like an animal."

"It's not your fault."

"That doesn't make anything better for him."

The girl looked at her with dark gentle eyes.

"Are you scared?"

" Well, of course I am! What if… what if they do something to my Remus!"

"I wish I could say nothing happened."

"What does happen?"

"I don't know. They go in, and come out… but different. Like something did happen, but they don't want to say it did."

Mary nodded.

"D-do you think the registration helps them?"

"Them? No, the registration is to keep us protected. They do more harm than good to people with lycanthropy, I'm afraid."

They both fell silent.

"Remus- he really is a wonderful boy."

"I bet." said the girl.

"Well, yes. I home school him, he wants so desperately to go to school, but its not possible. But he has taught himself for the past year, and received full marks of the aptitude test students take in June."

"Why doesn't he go to muggle school? They would accept him."

"I don't… he- I don't think it would be the best idea."

The girl gave her a stranger look, and she continued.

"Besides, Remus can't stand to stay inside during the day, and I wouldn't be able to get him to wake up in time for class. He stays up all night and sleeps all day."

"Most of them are nocturnal, of course."

"And then his behavior, all the precautions. His diet is so restricted, and if anything happened to another student, the blood would…" she trialed off "I've never actually seen what it does, of course. I have been so careful with him."

The girl nodded.

" recently he has asked about Hogwarts. I can't possibly tell him he won't be going can I?"

He girl thought a moment. Finally she spoke.

"I've never heard of Professor Dumbledore turning down a student."

Mary gave her a strange look. "But, he- I would love that of course, but, I don't, he wouldn't-"

"You never know." said the girl

The door to the dark room opened, and a ashen faced Remus stumbled out.

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(A/N) READ AND REVIEW!! i will love you all even more if you do so!! even if you hate something about the story. tell me, please. that is the only way i will learn. Also, sorry this chapter kinda sucked. I have really bad writers block lately, and i hope to get over it by summer so i can update every few days for you. Vitual hug to everyone for reading my story!! thanks!!Happy reading!!

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	6. Chapter 6 sense?

I don't own Harry Potter (or Remus…… I wish I did, he is Jesus!)

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Last chapter: The door to the dark room opened, and a ashen faced Remus stumbled out.

….

"Remus!"

Remus straightened immediately from his hunched posture to look at his mother. Mary knelt down and gave him a hug. She felt him stiffen in her arms.

"Y-yes Mother?" he said softly

"Sweetheart, are you alright?" she whispered

He nodded.

"What happened?" she said sternly, looking him over from arms length. He flinched as her voice rose.

"What did they do to you?"

"N-n-nothing. They just…. S-startled me."

"What did they do?" She repeated

"J-just…" he hesitated "….asked questions M-mum. That's all ."

"Remus, nothing has frightened you before!"

He shook his head and looked down to the floor, nudging at a hole in the carpet with his foot.

"Can we just go?" he whispered meekly

"Of course." Mary looked towards the girl at the counter. "Thank you for everything."

Mary grabbed Remus' hand as she walked briskly from the office. The halls were now bustling with a more common time for travel. They managed to pack into the elevator. Remus looked up at tall figures around him. He felt claustrophobic. He smelt hair potion one witch next to him had used, the smell of it made him gag. He heard the habit of one man tapping his fingers along the wall. Each sense came to him clearly, more clearly than they should. A young wizard behind him breathed heavily as he recited some sort of interview material under his breath, all of the words ringing clearly through Remus' ears. The breathing was hurried and nasally, he clenched his fists in unexplained annoyance. Finally, the lift opened. Mary grabbed his hand once more to lead him through the thickening crowd, each person so involved with their own agenda. He smelt distinct scents as people past, the fragrance coming with the breeze of their movement. It startled him, the severity of it. Had it always been this way? Him never noticing the scent? How could he only smell it now? And the sound! Every footstep crammed into his thoughts. Over the background noise, he heard the faint voice of his Mother. They were nearly at the fireplace. The senses were pounding in his head, his aching head! How he needed to get away. The green flames surrounded him, the Floo powder a chalky sting to his nose. He landed on his feet this time, brushed himself off quickly and ran upstairs.

"Remus?" Mary had followed Remus to find him sitting against the wall with his legs drawn to his chest. His chest was bare, his now ashy dress shirt lay abandon in a ball on the floor, and his feet were bare. His hair hung in his face as the glamour wore off.

"Honey, are you sure you are alright?"

He nodded. The gash was beginning to appear down his cheek, though it was already healed to no more than a scratch.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head, not meeting her eye. "Nothing happened Mum. They asked n-normal questions, when I was bitten, how my transformations are. "

"Remus, please tell me."

"No! Mum, honest, I really don't want to talk about it."

She sighed, defeated "alright. Come down for dinner."

He nodded, and she retreated down the stairs. Remus heard his mother move to the sitting room, the springs in the coach squeaking t under pressure. He pulled himself up from the floor, still vaguely achy from his transformation, but not caring at the moment.

He opened one of the windows from his bedroom and clambered out. To his relief, a waft of fresh air drifted towards him. The rustle of leaves nearby was so very welcoming right now. His feet balanced on the steep slant of the roof, and he edged horizontally toward the edge. Looking down from the brim, he measured the drop. He guess about 16 feet here at the peak of the roof. He could probably make it down…. not that he could before, but maybe… he stood, toes teetering on the edge, and leaned forward.

He felt the rush of air as the ground came soaring closer, sounding like a speeding train beside his head. He took in every shingle of the side of the house, it's pealing paint a metallic lead aroma. He turned is body slightly to brace for the landing, and landed with refinement on his feet. Glancing around for a moment, he ran as fast as he could, jumping the white picket fence, and darted into the woods .

He stayed for hours, amongst the dense foliage, climbing from tree to tree, until a faint call in the distance signaled his mother's call up the stairwell for tea. He ran swiftly towards the house. And so the sequence began….

More than a fortnight had past, full moon on Remus' tail once more. He slept until noon, awoke irritable and hypersensitive to the light. Down stairs for lunch, Mary was cleaning the house. The toxic smell of muggle cleaning products made him dizzy and wanting to vomit. He got a scolding from his Mother for being snappy when he spoke.

"I'm going into the forest" he declared finally.

"That's fine. Be back for dinner."

He nodded. The house was so stuffy, the air stale and artificial. He ran as soon as he was out the back door. A quick pace, the pace of a sprinter. Darting the trees, jumping the bushes, as if they weren't there. Knowing the territory so well, he barely had to look. Climbing the large oak tree stairs, then jumping from the platform to the trees below.

The cottage he ran from was smack in the middle of nothing. There was wildlife everywhere, trees for miles, mountains after that. He tried to stay at peace. It had barely been 3 weeks, yet he had accepted the forest as his new home.

Remus ran into a clearing to find a deer and it's fawn. He approached slowly.

_Its alright _he thought to them _I'm not going to hurt you. I'm here to be your friend._

They sensed his gentle nature. He sensed them being at ease. Werewolves, though feared by humans, were simply another animal in the forest. They could understand his thoughts. So Remus lived there in harmony. All too soon, he was called in for dinner. He reached the house, having maneuvered through the foliage with no difficulty.

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(A/N) Whoo hoo! another chapter! It took a while, still have writers block from to much... empathy, yes, lets say that. All in all, not my best, not my worst, chapter, but PLEASE REVIEW!! i will love you so much!!

anyway, i was bored, and had writers block again, so i did some more research on werewolves, and to my pleasure, some of the stuff i was already writing matched up!! fancy that! so, i think i touched upon everything i needed to, if you have any comments, review!! Good of bad, review!! I will love you, review!! please!! grazie!! happy reading!


	7. Chapter 7:poor cat

**Its now the 70's!! wow!! 1971, Big jump, like a random few years. Anyway, it nearly the summer, or is the summer, whatever, it's June. Remus is eleven. :o yeah!! Hogwarts time almost!! I can't wait!! Good golly, its gunna be fun to write about him with his fellow marauders. That's still not for a while though. Mwahaha! I know what's gunna happen and you don't!! …. sorry, that was rude. I'm just so excited. Alright, so here's the deal-io . Remus is all, umm, nature-y? that's not a word, but you catch my drift. Ur gunna be all, "but doesn't Remus spend all his time in the forest?" well, yeah. But you can't expect him to like, talk to trees and what-not all the time in there. So he reads!! (while in the trees) Hurray for bookworms. Just wanted to, you know, clarify, cause my little annoying critic voice in my head was all "that's stupid, you didn't explain that!" so now I can say "ha, shut up critic voice, I win!!"…… yes, I know, I am crazy. that's it. Umm, still have writers block, so if this chapter i would say is a good attempt! But have no fear!! Hogwarts is here!! (almost) and those chapters are cool. Alright, so enjoy this, thanks for reading my ramble, and happy reading!! **

**Also, warning to cat lovers. I love cats too, but there is a dead cat in this chapter. Oh, and thanks to rye-the-random for the story "secrets of a werewolf". I'm using some of the secrets from that story. If you do read the story though, don't come to me saying "ahhh! You can't make his last thoughts about the cat!!" they aren't going to be, but I liked the list.**

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Remus sat in a maple tree in the minuscule hours of the daylight, immersed in thought. He did this habitually, and, today held a book in his hands as he gazed into the sunrise peaking through the trees. He never slept at night. He was nocturnal, he supposed, and his mother eventually gave up on the idea of him sleeping through the night. Mary's alarm clock rang through the cottage, the distant sound causing Remus to snap out of his trance. He determined this to be an appropriate time for some sleep. He jumped from the tree into the scattered debris surrounding it, and headed towards the house.

He entered the kitchen to glimpse an owl momentarily before it took off through the window. He glanced towards the table, where a small pile of mail lay. There were some bills, he saw that immediately. The official muggle envelopes were a dead give away. but right on top, made of the imperfect wizarding parchment he associated with any magic contact, a letter written in green ink. The wax seal stamped with the official crest and motto of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Remus picked up the letter in shock and held it in his hands as his Mother entered the kitchen.

"What've you got there Remus? Is it a letter from Dad?" she asked hopefully

"N-no, he hasn't written." he said absent-mindedly

"Then what is it?" He passed the letter to her, and she gasped.

Mr. R . Lupin, attic bedroom, the Cottage, Tallenbrough valley, Redgrove.

Mary didn't say anything, allowing Remus to open the letter in silence after returning it. His eyes skimmed the page quickly before a wide and honest grin appeared on his face.

"Mum… I'm in." he said. "I-I got accepted!"

"Are you sure?" Mary said with shock. Remus nodded, still smiling.

Mary stood without words for a moment, before looking at the clock.

"oh! I'm going to be late! Well talk more about this when I get back."

"Where are you going?"

"I have a new job as a nanny in the village, for a muggle family. I'll see you again around dinner, dear. Be careful" she kissed his forehead.

"You too." he said. She retreated out the front door, and Remus up the stairs to his bedroom, letter in hand. He threw himself down onto his bed, and stared at the letter some more.

Hogwarts, the Hogwarts, the school he had dreamed of going to… he was going, he was a student….eyelids drifting closed.

_The cat's corpse lay mangled in a puddle of blood, tossed aside like an old rag doll. The blood, so much of it he realized, must be both the cat's…and his own. He hadn't meant to kill, it had been locked in with him. Maybe it had wandered in here throughout the weeks in which the shed was abandon. He didn't know, and realize he didn't care. He had killed. True, not a person, but an animal. A fellow being. At least he wouldn't get into trouble with Werewolf Regulation and Control. It wasn't magical. They couldn't know. But still… He heard the heavy metal door open, the early morning sun pouring onto him. Luckily, the cat was left in the shadow, unseen by human eyes. He stumbled towards his mother, who's form could be seen as a black blob against the intense light. He collapsed into her arms. …. _

Remus woke, breathing heavy. His dreams, no, his memories, always affected him like this. He hated this memory in particular. It had been 3 years ago. Ever since his Registration he had woken as soon as the transformation ended. That memory, however, was the first time he ever did harm to anyone during transformation, other than himself. Poor cat. He got out of bed, shielding his eyes from the near afternoon sun. He looked at the clock beside his bed.

10:57

Almost eleven. So he had slept six hours. That wasn't bad for him.

He grabbed his day clothes, a plain T-shirt and jeans, and ran downstairs to the bathroom, he showered and examined his reflection as he did from time to time. He had trimmed his hair a few days ago. Now it was the way he liked it. In front it hung just above his eyes, flaring out slightly at the ends. Slightly longer in the back. Right now, still damp from his shower it was a darker brown, but when it dried, it was a golden brown. His eyes today were a soft gold, similar to his hair. His face was pale, despite all of the hours he spent outside.

Currently, he had a small scar running down his chin, but nothing more visible. Under his shirt was a different story, with deep scars from wide gashes that couldn't heal quickly enough, even with his enhanced healing. But scars came and went. Even if they left a scar, his body had a habit of regenerating tissue quickly. No scar lasted more than a few months. Except the scar on his shoulder. It was a deep, unnatural indentation, very noticeable. Combine that with the bar code tattooed on his wrist from Registration, visible only with certain spells, but certainly there, he was marked as the lycanthrope he was. He wouldn't lie to himself, he didn't like to. So he couldn't say he didn't mind being a werewolf. Of course he minded, but he would live with it. He had accepted the fact that he couldn't be a normal kid, hanging out with other wizarding kids, have a dad, go to school… But now he was.

Two out of three, at least he hoped two out of three. He didn't have any idea where his Father was, but… He had been accepted to Hogwarts! Maybe he could make friends there, maybe he could learn _real _magic!! Maybe he could be the bet student, make his parents proud, become something great, like Minister of Magic!! That gave him an idea. He ran back upstairs into his bedroom, and opened up the crawl space to the attic, beside his bed. There it was, right at the entrance.

His mother's Hogwarts things. Her trunk, surrounded by what seemed like hundreds of spell books, manuals, instructions….

It made his wonder, as, he read through the titles, why Mother didn't like magic. It was all so exciting! He grabbed Standard Book of Spells grade one, Magical Theory, and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, out of the piles.

He opened the window, climbing onto the roof as he did everyday. Now it wasn't for stealth, leaving from the roof, but out of habit. He barely used doors, unless he knew his Mother was awake, or around. She didn't seem to approve of Remus jumping down from the second floor every day, even if he refused to get hurt from it.

He found his favorite tree, the oak he had resided in earlier that morning. Remus climbed one handed, holding the books tightly to his chest. Finally near the top branches, he nestle himself into a bough, letting the minutes drift away as he drank in every word of the new writings, holding it tightly in his memory. He didn't take notice when darkness fell.

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**(A/N)**

**The bar code on Remus' wrist is a marking, that looks like a bar code, marking him as a lycanthrope. It is invisible to everyone, unless revealed with the Aparecium, the spell to reveal something in invisible ink. Basically, it is a tattoo. **

**Thanks again to rye-the-random for the super duper amazing secrets of the forever Jesus like Remus Lupin. Also, thanks to Jessie, my amazing cousin, for coming up with the idea, and David for approving it and being head editor. **

**I do not own Harry Potter. Read and review. READ AND REVIEW!! READ AND REVIEW!! I'll be more inspired if you do, and that means better chapters… this one was sorta not that great, but I am still happy with it. Please!! Happy reading!!**

**Valerie**


	8. Chapter 8:the wolf

**Ighty then, so this next chapter is like…. It reminds me of Lord of the Flies, so, I do not own Lord of the Flies. I don't own Harry Potter, or Remus (sob sob) and he is Jesus. Um… special thanks to ooosk and rye-the-random for their Remus secrets, that will show up throughout the story to spice things up. So, I think that is it for now, sorry I haven't updated recently. But its summer now, officially, since all my regents are done, so I promise to update quickly since I don't need to study anymore. O0o, and special thanks to ****xStarfirexRobinxo**** and my editor, David. You guys rock!! Thanks so much. So, read and review, and HAPPY READING!!**

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**RPOV**

Mum still isn't home. I wouldn't be worried, besides from the fact that she said she would be home for dinner, and when she says she will be home, she will be home. What if something happened to her? What if… okay, calm down. She probably was busy in town. Maybe her charge's parents aren't home yet. I might as well make dinner before she gets back.

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Remus finished boiling some pasta as he heard his mother stomping up the path. The door flew open.

"Hello Mum." he said politely "I'm making dinner. You want some?"

"No, thank you. I'm not hungry." she said as she flung her bag down beside the table and sunk down into her chair. "How was your day Honey?" she said in a tone that sounded as if she didn't really care.

"It was good. I slept for a while, and got some reading done. H-how was yours?"

"Oh, well!" she said, frustrated "It waspleasant enough. The child I was watching was well behaved. Her parents let me off early, so I decided to get some errands out of the way." she glanced over at Remus as if waiting for him to say something, before continuing. "So I went to see your Father."

He didn't say anything, but stopped stirring the pasta.

"I went to see your father." she repeated "I needed to discuss something with him."

Remus remained silent, turning from the stove to giving her a confused look.

"Your letter." she stated.

"What about it?"

She gave him a significant look. "Remus, I don't think, and your Father agrees with me, that you should go to Hogwarts."

He froze.

"We think its for the best. I doubt that Dumbledore knows of your ...condition, but when he does…. we think it would be better to avoid the situation."

She waited for him to speak, but he did not.

"I know it's what you wanted but, it's… it's just to much of a risk. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you."

"…"

"You understand, don't you?"

He gave her a dead glare. She sighed.

"I… I understand this isn't…" she faltered "this wasn't what you had hoped for, but it will be better this way. Trust me."

"No." he whispered

Remus looked her full in the eye. Brown eyes wide with shock, golden eyes deep with emotion. Eyes wounded with the sudden theft of a dream. Before Mary could react, he bolted out the door, and into the woods beyond.

--o0o--

**RPOV**

It's quiet here, in the forest. But my pulse is still beating hard in my neck, my temples, at the tips of my fingers, filling my ears. My breathing, I barely noticed before now, is rough. My lungs are aching. That hasn't happened…. Since I was six years old. Since before the bite.

Where am I?

I don't recognize these trees. Or the ground I walk on. The owls screeching in a distant tree, that sound hasn't reached my ears before now. The wind would be harsh if I weren't in the heart of this forest. Now it's a breeze, a chilling breeze. It rustles the leaves for miles. Miles….

Where am I?

I don't hear anything now. How odd. Usually there is something somewhere to hear. And I would be able to sense it too, wouldn't I? Perhaps people haven't come looking for me at all. I'm not really surprised. Or perhaps I ran too far? Either way, no one is here. I am alone…… Why am I alone? I had run from something. From Mother. She said… what did she say?…. She said I wasn't going. Wasn't going to Hogwarts, and Father agreed? I'm hallucinating. There is no possible way she has spoken to Father. But then, nothing seems so outrageous now…

Where am I?

The sun is beginning to light the sky. Slightly, a green haze reaches clouds only visible when I climb the tallest of trees. I realize how cold the ground feels under my bare feet. Should I be cold too? I haven't been cold since the bite either. Is that normal? Now the light illuminates the trees. It doesn't help my vision, as my vision was fine in the dark. I'm so tired, the sun overhead. Funny how, even when I know what direction I came from, I am not going back. Actually, I don't think I know what direction I am any more. It is definitely strange that I don't panic. Why don't I panic?! Am I about to panic about panicking?

Where am I?

Okay, I'm going to retrace my steps. At least I'm not bad at tracking in a forest. Okay, breath, this is fine. Its dark, but its alright. I have to take this slow. I came from that direction. Okay. I recognize this a bit. I hear the same owls. That's a good sign. I think. I'm so tired. The ground isn't so hard, perhaps I could just rest my head for a moment….

_The trees are around me, and I run fast. Faster than I run in conscious memory, but I run on all fours, near the ground as it rushes past. Faster than I ran in human memory… who says I am human?! I see two sparkling eyes, deer's eyes. Deer do not interest me. I want blood. But not just any blood._

_Oh, that smell!! I smell it on me, within me. Of course! I am human, aren't I boy? I am his good for nothing prisoner, aren't I? That's what he thinks. Tonight he is my prisoner. That delicious human boy is long gone tonight. And he knows it, as he has surrendered. _

_I snarl as I sniff at my own flesh. The scent is intoxicating. I must rip the flesh that holds the aroma within it. Oh, how I wish! And I needn't hold back. I feel my own razor teeth tear at my arm, deeper, deeper down, until the warm gush of blood is thick upon my fur. More, I need more!! The scent is itching at me from the inside. I claw at my chest. Growling with a grim satisfaction of my own enthralling perfume, delicious taste. _

_But, I feel strange, light-headed. I look down, realizing too late that I have taken too much blood from my veins. The darkness closes in…._

Remus jerked awake, blood dripping down his arm. It burned, stung with his pulse, shooting pain up his arm. He tore off his tee-shirt , rapping it around his arm. As he applied pressure the pain began to melt away. He sighed. It was then that he tasted the metallic taste in his mouth. A beautiful, fragrant taste. It was unbelievable. He felt his head ache painfully.

_No, no its not, don't loose control. Don't drink it. Spit it out. _

**Why should I spit it out though? **the thoughts came at him with an angry snarl from the back of his mind

_no, stay in control, its not worth it, the blood isn't worth it…_

**You haven't tasted blood as I have. You, boy, are more a wolf than you let on. Surrender for your own good. **

_Its not good, its not. Please, g-go away. You can come back on the full moon. Please, not now, not now…_

**Ah, you don't get it, do you? You don't control me, I don't live only for full moons. **

_Your wrong…._

**Who are you to say? And, am I correct, you want to go to school with me? How thoughtful, all of those throats to be ripped out….**

_Please, p-please no…._

**Around all those poor souls, and to think, you thought you had me under control. **

The voice laughed, a menacing laughter filling his ears. Remus clutched his head as it grew louder.

_Please, m-make it stop. Make it s-stop, I'll d-do anything!_

**Follow me, Beelzebub. You and me, together, we will get what we want. **

_I c-can't, I won't, please m-make it s-stop, please…_

**Do it! Surrender, you weak excuse for a human, before I destroy you myself!**

_I s-shant! P-please, d-don't._

**you really want to be in control of me? You will fail, fail as you always have. Contrary…. If you join me….**

"I WON'T!!" he screamed. "I w-won't. p-please, n-no…."

He lay whimpering on the ground until sleep caught him once more.

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**(A/N) Sorry not a super good ending, I didn't know how to end it. Anyway, read and review, and I will marry you. If you don't want me to marry you, I will give you a cookie!! Please, please review. And criticism is welcome, it will help me improve my writing. Reviews make me super duper ultra happy, so REVIEW!! Happy reading!**


	9. Chapter 9: empty

Remus awoke, a small aching form is a downpour of rain. He rubbed his eyes, and moaned as he felt the tenderness of his head. It felt as if he had slammed it against a rock, multiple times, from the inside. He took a deep breath and looked down at his arm, unwrapping it from his shirt bandage as he did so. He was relieved to see that is was nearly healed. Thank goodness fast healing abilities. He stood up gingerly, taking in his surroundings once more. He sighed in relief.

He recognized most things now. He had been here once or twice, perhaps a handful of times when in a more adventurous mood. It was on the outskirts of the valley in which he lived, nearing one of the taller mountains. But the most important thing was that he knew his way back. And he ran. He ran through the brambles and thickets, and roots sticking awkwardly out of the ground, because all of this he knew from before. All of this he understood how to move in. Relief washed over him along with the curtains of rain.

And an hour past. It hadn't occurred to him , through his relief, just how far that point was from his forest. Finally, a structure came into view. He stopped.

It was John's workshop, probably less than a kilometer from the house. He had forgotten this was here, as he usually wasn't in this area of the forest. This was where John keep his supplies before bringing them to shop. Or at least he did keep his supplies here. Now it seemed utterly abandoned. Ivy crept up the brick walls, towards the gables, as many structures in untamed wilderness housed. The grass around it was overgrown, reaching Remus' waist.

But the door was unlocked. And the hinged didn't squeak. There was the finest layer of dust, but it could be mistaken for a minor amount of poor house keeping. The workbenches were perfectly organized. The curtains were drawn, windows closed, but the air wasn't stale, like a normal abandoned structure. He could see his reflection in the workshop looking glass, and was surprised to see that he too, looked wholly normal. True, he looked wet, and there were sticks stuck in his hair, and he wasn't wearing a shirt. But the face staring back at him was the same Remus as had looked back at him just two mornings ago. He didn't feel at all the same.

He didn't really know how he felt exactly. Empty. That was it. There was an almost desperate feeling there. For what he didn't know, but he couldn't tell if it was really there at all. Empty just about summed it up. Nothing. that's what he felt. His eyes looked empty….

Like this abandon shack in the forest. Normal in appearance, yet he could feel how lifeless it really was. He left the workshop, kicking a few stray bottles that scattered the doorway. He walked towards the cottage in the distance.

--

She gripped the tea cup to stop her shaking hands, but more to keep herself from slipping into hysterics. John, of course was gripping her shoulder gently. He was too calm for comfort.

"Mary, I'm sure he will be fine. You said he spends time in the forest anyway."

"John, this… this is c-completely different. He's g-gone. It m-my fault, I shouldn't have s-said that to him."

"Its not your fault."

"Don't try to be comforting, I know it's my fault!" she snapped "What if he's hurt or lost, or-"

"Mary, he won't be. Trust me."

She laughed bitterly "Like I should believe you! Were not talking about some lost pet, John. this is _Remus_. My Remus. I can't loose him like I lost you."

"Mary, you didn't loose me, I'm right here. A-And I promise, I'll come back, I'll stay. Please trust me."

Mary swallowed another sob, and nodded.

"I just don't understand!" she yelled suddenly "We looked everywhere he could have been, called for him. Why can't we find him?!"

"He doesn't want to be found. Remember when he was younger? One round of hide-and-seek took an entire day."

"Doesn't he know, that we want him to come back?"

"Of course he does. Give him time."

"We should go look aga-"

"No, Mary, sit down. Finish your tea, and then get some sleep. You haven't slept since he left. I'll watch for him, and in a few hours I'll wake you."

"But, I can't lea-"

She was cut off as the door opened, revealing a soaking wet, thoroughly exhausted, and somewhat embarrassed Remus.

"Remus!" Mary whispered, and she rose to embrace him. She didn't notice as he tensed in her grip.

"My baby boy, don't you ever do that again." she whispered, kissing his forehead. "I was so, so worried."

"Let him breath Mary!"

She let him go reluctantly, holding him at arms length to look him over. She put her hands to his cheeks.

"Are you okay sweetheart, does anything hurt?"

He shook his head.

"Come on, Mary, lets get him cleaned up."

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"I'll be down soon, Mar." John called from the attic stairs "I just want to say good night to him."

John entered Remus' bedroom, nearing his sons 'sleeping' form. Remus turned over with open deep gold eyes.

"Remus… you're awake?"

Remus sat up

"I'm nocturnal." he told John plainly.

"Oh, well, er… I wanted to say goodnight. Now that your Mum is... stable, I have to be getting back."

Remus nodded.

"But, I'll be coming back. I promise this time. I know I've said in letters, but I mean it. Tomorrow, for dinner. Is that alright with you?"

Remus nodded again.

"Good, er, well," John struggled for words " I'm glad to see your okay." he managed

Remus stared at him blankly.

"This whole situation, going to Hogwarts…. Remus, you do want to attend, don't you?"

Remus gave a small shrug and a nod. John sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Well, then..." John leaned close, speaking softly "I know your Mother won't approve of this, of course, but…. I'm going to write to the headmaster. I'll tell him about your condition, and see what he thinks. Dumbledore is an understanding man, known for lack of prejudice. And, if he says yes, I'll help you get there. Mary doesn't know what she's talking about, stopping you from attending."

Remus nodded.

"Are you sure you're alright son? You seem rather quiet. Mary said you were, but..."

"I'm fine." he said quietly. John gave him a look, as if he didn't really believe it.

"Alright. If you need anything, Mum is downstairs. I'll see you tomorrow."

Remus nodded. John gave his leg a friendly pat, and rose.

"Goodnight son." he turned away, but a small voice made him stop.

"Why did you leave?"

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(A/N) I'm so super sorry I haven't updated, and this chapter isn't long, I've only just gotten over another bought of writers block. It seems to be going around lately. :) Anyway, in 2 chapters (I think) Remus will be in hogwarts!! hurray!! thanks so so much to David, though he didn't edit this chapter (no one did) Jessie (xstarfirexrobinxo), for saving me, and helping me get over my writers block, and being my purple security blanket that smells like marshmallows, and Ariana! (TotalEclipseX) for approving it. thats it! happy reading! read and review!!

Charlotte Indigo (Valerie)

* * *


	10. Chapter 10:walk into a brick wall

_I do not own Harry potter ,as I'm not rich. I have 6.43 to my name. That's American dollars. Therefore I did not make billions on a child storybook revolution. I wish I did._

* * *

"We're lucky your Mother's out today." Said John as he brought out a tea tray into the spotless sitting room.

Remus nodded from his place, huddled with his legs pulled to his chest on the small faded green velvet loveseat.

"You worried?"

He shrugged. At that moment, there was a knock at the front door.

"That's him. Why don't you get it? I have to check the kettle."

Remus uncurled himself and walked to the white wood plank door. A quote ran through his head from the conversation he had had with his father just two nights before. _Because I had to. _He opening the door slowly to reveal a rather old man dressed in strange purple robes.

"Mr. Lupin, I presume?" His blue eyes twinkled.

Remus nodded shyly, and opened the door to welcome him inside,_ Because I had to. _I have to do this, he thought.

Remus lead the ancient Professor the few steps it took into the sitting room. Dumbledore made himself at home immediately in the cream wing-back chair beside Remus' couch. Remus sat on the edge of the cushion, toying with the unraveling seam of his dress shirt. Another quote flashed through his mind _I thought if I had a chance to, I could have made things better. _

"Ah, Professor Dumbledore!" exclaimed John as he entered "Thank you for coming on such short notice . How was your trip?"

"Oh, fine, thank you. So, I believe we are here to sort out a problem?"

"Well, yes. You see, as I said in my letter, Remus here-"

"Is a Lycanthrope. Yes. I don't see any problem with him attending Hogwarts."

"Really?" asked Remus. Dumbledore chuckled.

"Of course you may attend, my boy!"

"Sir, isn't it dangerous?" he asked quietly . _I knew, and didn't know what I risked. _

"Ah, well, I suppose it is. But, I assure you we will take every precaution necessary to insure the safety of every student, including yourself. This is a chance I have been waiting for." _A chance to make things better. _

"What do you mean?" asked John

"I have been attempting to break prejudice barriers in the school for some time. Having someone with Lycanthropy attending school successfully would work wonders."

"Haven't you had a chance before? Surely others-"

"Have requested attendance? Sadly no. I believe Remus here is the first to ask and be approved. It did take some persuasion on my part, but by his records, it would be wonderful to have him."

Remus gaped. That was too easy.

* * *

"I'm glad to see you're getting along with him." said Mary, unaware that Remus could hear the conversation from his room above.

"Well, he's my son, and I've missed him a heap." said John

"You've been bonding a great deal."

"As I said, I've missed him."

"And where did you go today?"

"Er, the muggle zoo." he said, not catching her eye "You know how Remus loves animals."

"Hm." she raised an eyebrow "Did you have fun?"

"Oh yeah, it was grand." Mary looked him over a moment.

"John, you're a dreadful liar."

"What do you mean?"

"What did you really do with Remus?"

"We went to the zoo! We saw… lions, and, er, monkeys, and-"

"Puffskeins? Did you see them?"

"Er, Yeah! Yeah, loads of those. Remus loved them."

"Those are magical John. You can't see those at a muggle zoo." she said coldly.

"Oh, well, er, they might have been… rabbits…" he said pathetically.

"Where were you?"

John sighed "Diagon Alley."

"John you know I don't want Remus there! He's not used to being in public!"

"Who's fault is that?"

"Oh, don't blame this on me!! You know how people treat lycanthropes."

"But they don't know he is one! He's a normal boy. He just has a… a problem.."

"A problem I have shaped my life around for the past five years! A problem that can only kill my son if we let it get out of hand!"

"But he deserves something different."

"I never said he didn't! But I'm looking at this realistically! There's a reason they call werewolves cursed! He doesn't have a chance at a normal life!"

"Yes he does Mary."

"And how?"

"Hogwarts."

"I thought I told you he wasn't going!"

"He is. He's leaving in a week."

"The full moon is in five days. You can't think he will recover-"

"He will."

"You're expecting too much out of him! He can't handle this!"

"You expect him to accomplish nothing, do you?"

"Of course not!"

"Then let him go. Please Mary."

"I won't let him!"

John paused "He won't end up like you Mary. He has a family that would accept him."

"He's not going to that God-Forsaken school John!! I am distancing him from the world that will treat him the way he shouldn't be treat."

"And bringing him to your world, where they burn witches."

"Oh, learn your history. They've stopped doing that! I just-"

"Mary." he said gently "Please let him go."

"I swear on my own grave that I don't want this for him."

"He's going."

"There's a death sentence for your son right there."

* * *

Remus re-packed his things in the early morning, Mary having unpacked them the night before. His truck was second-hand (John didn't have much money, as it turned out), but he didn't mind. He had found John's old trunk in the attic storage space, a small pile of boxes hidden in a crawl space behind Remus' walls. Remus had found a versatile charm, and switched the initials from J.R. Lupin (John Romulus) to R.J. Lupin. The trunk was his.

His books were packed, some not required in his year, but a necessity none the less. His wand was in his pocket, never leaving his side since it's purchase. His robes, also John's old ones, were a smidge to long, but he had managed to take them in. They looked good as new. He would of course change on the train. Walking through King's Cross in black robes wasn't the most overlooked style.

He checked his room once over, making sure he didn't forget anything, and slowly, for what he knew would be the last time in a long time, exited through the window, taking off once more into the woods.

* * *

He walked through the crowds of Kings Cross station with his Father beside him. He was too dazed to notice the overwhelming scents and sounds that plagued any crowd. He was leaving.

_Why did you leave?_

_Because I had to. I thought if I had a chance to, I could have made things better. I decided I should leave. Mum gave me a nudge of course._

But _you abandoned us. You didn't come back, and you should have._

_I had to. And I was in no state to take care of you then._

_Mum cried every night for a year when you left._

If remus made Mum cry, and he probably already had, he would regret it forever. She had shed enough tears for one lifetime. He looked around the station, realizing that something was wrong.

"Dad?"

"Yes?"

"The ticket says 9 and ¾"

"so it does."

"There's only 9 and 10. There can't be anything in between."

"You'd be surprised. Watch."

Remus caught sight of a boy with messy black hair facing a brick divider. What Remus supposed were his parents, a woman with long silver hair, and a man with a cane and the same hair as the boy, though slightly graying, stood behind him. The father whispered something to the boy, who nodded, and ran towards the wall. Remus expected a crash, but the boy just disappeared without a trace.

"I think I missed something." he said quietly. John chuckled

"Come on, follow me." John took the luggage cart from Remus and grabbed him by the arm before he could object. He walked straight into a brick wall.

* * *

**(A/N) I WALK INTO BRICK WALLS ALL THE TIME!! So, guess what!! Remus is going to Hogwarts!! gives celebration cookies to the world hurray!! So next chapter, he is off to that beloved magic school we all know so well. **

**Er, just a note, when things are italicized they are something Remus remembered his dad saying, or he was saying to his dad, in the conversation that follow the end of last chapter. **

**Thanks super much to Jessie, xStarfirexRobinxo , she has saved me so many times. Love you cousin!! Oh, and honorable mention to Ariana (for no reason, lol) and Ryan for determining a future scenario.**

**happy reading**

**Charlotte Indigo (Valerie)**

thanks a bunch to my reviewers, feel free to continue, lol. love yous!!


	11. Chapter 11: Knickers in a twist

**IMPORTANT!! (kinda) sorry the spacing is messed up on this, word processor spazzed. **

* * *

The whistle blew loudly, and his father helped hoist his trunk through the door. He heard throughout the platform people saying goodbye to their parent. Their fathers, their mothers. He thought of his mother back home, in their cottage, hoping Remus wouldn't leave her. He suddenly felt miserable.

"If you need anything, owl home, alright son?"

Remus nodded.

"Well, I suppose you should go find a compartment."

"Alright. Bye Dad."

John gave him a one armed hug.

"Be safe Remus. Do your best. Try to make friends."

"I will Dad."

"Let us know what house you're in."

Remus nodded one last time, and pulled himself aboard as the final whistle blew. The train lurched and Remus slammed the door shut. He waved a moment back at his Father before dragging his trunk into an empty compartment. No turning back now….

He decided to change into his robes, slipping the black fabric over his button down shirt, straightening the fabric so no wrinkles showed. He pulled a new muggle book from his trunk and curled up in his seat. He had lost himself in it before the door compartment slid open.

A beautiful girl stood in the door way. She was dainty, wearing a white eyelet dress, tied around the middle with a thick black ribbon, matching the one that tied her fiery red hair into a silky pony-tail pulled to the side. Her skin looked as if it were made of porcelain. She glanced at Remus with brilliant emerald eyes. As she tilted her head, Remus noted how here hair smelled of cherry blossoms.

"Hello." she sang in a sweet soprano voice. "Is anyone sitting here?"

Remus shook his head dumbly.

"Would you mind if we-?

He shook his head again.

The girl dragged her trunk in, followed closely by a boy with greasy curtains of black hair framing his bitter face. He too was in his school robes. The girl began to hoist her trunk into the overhead area. Remus made a move to help her, but the boy gave him a glare and helped her himself.

"Thanks Sev." she said as she took her seat. The boy, Sev, nodded. The girl glanced at Remus.

"My name's Lily. Lily Evans. What's your name?" her eyes starred curiously through him.

"R-Remus Lupin. Nice to meet you." Remus felt a glare from the Sev.

"Oh, and this is Severus. Severus Snape. Don't mind him, he's bitter." she said with a pearly white smile

"Am not!" he said, his voice clearly bitter.

"You are too, don't deny it!"

Severus huffed.

"Ha. I always win!" she said triumphantly.

He gave her morose look.

"You should be excited Sev! Lighten up! We're going to a _magic _school……So, Remus, what are you reading?"

He lifted the book to show the cover.

"Something Wicked This Way Comes." read Severus "Never heard of it."

"What's it about?" asked Lily

"Er, a c-carnival, I think." he said quietly "B-but I haven't read it through yet, so I don't really know."

"Sounds stupid." said Severus "Why don't you read something useful, like a textbook?! I mean, why waste time on it, if there's no point!! "

Remus shrank back slightly at the demanding nature of the boy. Lily seemed to notice.

"Sev, stop it, he can read what he likes." she smiled kindly at Remus, who returned it.

"What's your blood status?" asked Severus. Lily rolled her eyes at the subject.

"Half blood."

"Oh. Me too. Thought you might be muggleborn like Lily here, reading something like that."

he rose rather suddenly from his seat.

"I'll be right back" he said more to Lily than Remus "Excuse me."

Remus waited until her was out of sight to relax a bit. The presence of the boy made him almost jump. The girl, Lily, on the other hand, made him feel strangely calm.

"Sorry about him." said Lily sympathetically "He's just…" she sighed "I don't really know."

Remus nodded in comprehension.

"So, what's it like in a magical house?" she asked

"Er, I don't know. Sorry. My Mother doesn't really… approve of magic."

"Oh, well ,that's silly, isn't it? Magic is so helpful!"

"I don't think her family liked it. They were muggles."

"Oh. That makes some sense."

Remus nodded.

"So… are you excited? We're going to Hogwarts!"

"I was. Now I'm…". _regretting leaving. Wanting to go home and let Mum know I'm sorry _"nervous."

"Well, that's alright. Everyone is nervous in first year… you are a first year, aren't you?"

Remus nodded.

"So then, how about, just face the school and take it as it comes. it's nothing to fear."

"Gryffindor." he noted

"Where dwells the brave at heart? It sounds like a great house, but Severus wants me in Slytherin."

"It's your choice though, not his."

"I know, but he's my best friend. What house do you want to be in?"

"I… I never really thought about it" _Slytherin _whispered the wolf in the back of his head

"Hmm, well, Ravenclaw is for people who value education."

"Maybe." _But Slytherin, boy, is for the dark. You are dark, aren't you? _Remus pushed the wolf to the back of his mind once more.

"Well, I suppose we will have to wait for the sorting, won't we."

Remus nodded.

"So, er, do you have any siblings?"

Remus shook his head "you?"

"Just one. My sister Petunia. I-"

The door slide open to reveal a corpulent woman with grey hair pushing a snack trolley.

"Anything from the trolley dears?" she asked sweetly

"No, thank you." said Remus softly

"What do you have?" asked Lily

"Cauldron Cakes, Licorice Wands, Fizzing Wizbees, Chocolate frogs, the likes…and a new product, Bertie Bott's every flavor beans. Be careful with those if you try them."

"Er, I'll take, two Cauldron Cakes, a Chocolate Frog, and, er…. The bean things."

She handed the woman some money, and placed her armful of sweets down beside her. She looked at everything intriguingly.

"I have know idea what any of this is." Lily admitted .

"I think Cauldron Cakes are a sort of pastry."

"Do you want anything? I'm not going to eat it all."

"No thank you."

She threw Remus a chocolate frog anyway. He opened the package, and the frog leapt out onto the seat beside him. He and Lily watched it curiously.

"Is it suppose to do that?!" she asked as it bound around the compartment.

"Yes, but I feel bad eating one when they act like actual frogs." He took out his wand, and flicked it. The frog froze mid leap, and landed in his lap.

"How did you do that?"

He shrugged, biting into the frog.

"I can do a few spells, charms and things, but I can't do that."

"I'm sure you could."

Lily grabbed the bag of Bertie Bott's every flavored beans, and opened it.

" What do you think the lady with the cart meant by 'be careful'? are they dangerous?"

Remus shrugged.

"I'm almost scared to try one." she removed a reddish bean from the bag, looked it over a moment, and popped it in her mouth. She grimaced.

"Ugh! That tastes terrible!"

"What's it taste like?"

"Beets." she shuddered from the taste "I think they really are every flavor."

"Let me try." he grabbed a dark beige bean, and chewed it a moment.

"Oatmeal cookie. Not bad."

"How come you get the good one!" she said jokingly, taking another. This time, a dark blue one. She smiled a moment at its taste.

"It tastes like my mum's blueberry pie." Remus smiled along with her. Remus took another from the bag, and starred at the color, a nasty greenish brown.

"I don't think I want to eat this one." he held it at eye level, and noticed little black spots in the bean's shell.

"Oh, don't be a coward- oh, Hi Sev! I was wondering where you had gotten to."

Severus looked over the two of them from the doorway.

"Having fun?" he asked resentfully

"Yeah, loads!" said Lily. She looked at his scowl a moment "Oh, Don't get your knickers in a twist! Join Us!!"

He sat, nearly sulking. He looked up at Remus, who still held the bean to his eyes.

"What, do you think that bean is going to eat you? Just eat it for Merlin's sake!"

Remus popped it in his mouth.

"Uck! Booger flavored!"

Snape smirked. Lily made a disgusted face. "I don't think we should eat these anymore, do you?"

"Actually, they're quite fun." Remus said as the taste left his mouth.

"You're mental."

"I'm sorry."

"You should be."

"I know."

"No you don't"

"Okay."

"If you two would stop acting like children.." said Snape under his breath.

"We are not acting like children Sev! But we should be, we are children."

"I'm not."

"You're eleven. You're a child."

"But-"

"Case closed. I win. Again. Ha!" she smiled.

"How can you win? We aren't playing anything!"

"I won the argument. Lily: 176 Sev: 0. I win." she smiled even wider as Severus smoldered

"You kept track?"

And hence began what seemed to be a familiar argument between the beautiful Lily Evans who's hair seemed as vibrant as her personality, and the bitter Severus Snape, who had a permanent look of displeasure on his face. during which, Remus buried himself in his book once more. The train moved along for hours, and he tried to comprehend the philosophical phrasing of the book that were just so bazaar.

As the castle came in to view, only one other thought drifted through his mind…

_Home._

* * *

_(A/N) Hello!! I hope you enjoyed the chapter, I actually finished it the same night as the last one, but I thought I should wait a day or two. I don't really like the chapter all that much, but it was decent, so I put it up. But I hope you liked it. ANYWAY, special thanks to Jessie, and Ariana, I love you both. And I think that's it. Remus it in Hogwarts next!! Woo!! So, read ad review!! Read And Review!! READ AND REVIEW!! Please. I like them. They make me happy. Love you all, Happy Reading_

_Valerie _


	12. Chapter 12:the sorting

_In times many a year ago._

_When I was newly stitched,_

_And Merlin was of memory,_

_A brilliant plan was hitched._

_Of founders four our story came,_

_And still exists today,_

_The school they built in harmony,_

_To teach the magic way._

_Good Godric was a bold one,_

_With brave deeds, a heart of gold._

_And from his head is where I came,_

_Or so I have been told. _

_Kind Helga, just and loyal,_

_Accepts all with open arms,_

_To teach those of all families,_

_And protect them all from harm._

_Lady Ravenclaw, of logic,_

_Takes the brightest of you all,_

_Valuing a decent mind _

_When problems come to call._

_And Salazar, the cunning,_

_And ambition helped succeed._

_Of purest blood and qualities,_

_Are the students he takes heed._

_I'll take you all, divide you up,_

_And find your one true place,_

_But know that we should not divide,_

_In troubles we will face._

_So try me on to find your place,_

_I've never once been wrong._

_For what you want is who you are,_

_In the houses you belong._

Cheers broke out from every table in the hall, but the first years stood timidly. The woman who called herself Professor McGonagall stood.

"When I call your name, you will come up, place the sorting hat on your head, and be sorted into your houses." she unrolled a parchment scroll. "Aarons, Gwendolyn!"

A girl with strawberry blond hair came forward, the hat was placed on her head, covering her eyes. After a moment, the hat bellowed "Gryffindor!"

Cheers broke out from every table respectfully, though the loudest came from the lion's.

"Addams, Laura."

A tall brunette came forward, muttering words of confidence under her breath.

"Hufflepuff!"

"Ainsburg, Felton!"

"Ravenclaw!"

"Baker, Andrew"

"Hufflepuff."

"Bernstein, Eleanor." A large boned girl shuffled forward.

"Slytherin!"

"Black, Sirius" A boy with styled black hair strutted forward. The hat sat on his head for nearly two minutes, before it shouted "Gryffindor!"

"What?!" shouted a stunned Slytherin, but the boy, Sirius smiled at the hat's selection, gave a military salute to the Slytherin table and made his way for Gryffindor. A first year boy with untidy black hair was the first to clap, followed by the rest of the shocked crowd.

"Blake, William."

"Slytherin!"

"Brown, John."

"Ravenclaw!"

"Bones, Iris."

"Ravenclaw!!"

"Calldenwater, Ian." a boy with blond hair stepped forward.

"Gryffindor!"

"Calldenwater, Jacob." An Identical boy stepped forward.

"Gryffindor!"

Calldenwater, Seth." a boy with black hair stepped forward. The hat stayed a moment.

"Slytherin!"

The two identical boys shared a look of shock as they watched their brother leave for the opposite table.

"Davidson, Penelope"

"Hufflepuff!"

"Drew, Alice!"

"Gryffindor!" Alice tripped as she ran towards the house table, her round face blushing the rest of the way.

"Evans, Lily!" Lily stepped up, here robes drifting out behind her.

"Gryffindor!" She jumped down off the stool, looking happy, but her eyes searched the crowd of first years desperately. As she sat, her eyes found Severus, who she gave a sad smile, before turning to the girl, Alice, beside her.

"Ferrier, Gent."

"Hufflepuff!"

"Heralds, Katherine."

"Ravenclaw"

"Harrison, Shannon."

"Slytherin."

Jamison. Daphne."

"Slytherin."

"Kane, Randolph."

"Ravenclaw."

"Knoll, Ethelda."

"Slytherin!"

"Lupin, Remus." Suddenly, his legs felt like rubber. He went forward, and allowed the hat to be placed on his head, but instead of being plunged into darkness, he merely saw a badly repaired seam.

"Ah! A werewolf!" said a voice, and Remus nearly jumped. "Has the old prejudice left then?"

"No, sir, only for Professor Dumbledore."

"What a shame, a wonderful mind you have. I hope you receive some credit for it. Now where to put you…."

"Slytherin…" whispered the wolf once again

"interesting..." said the hat "I suppose you don't think that yourself, do you?"

"I'm a dark creature, where else would I go?"

"Wherever you like….. You do not belong in Slytherin at any rate. Now, let's see……. Logical, very much so, Loyal, yes, Brave, very brave indeed…"

"I'm not brave."

"Bravery is not having lack of fear, but facing fear. You fear the full moon, do you not?"

"Yes, but-"

"You face the fear. You are brave. And then some. Still…. Where would you like to go?"

Remus could nearly feel the hat searching his mind.

"Your friend. Ah, I see. Wonderful. She does have similar qualities, was difficult to place, like yourself. Brave, logical, loyal, kind. Yes. I believe that is your place as well. Better be GRYFFENDOR!"

Light filled his eyes in a wave as he removed the weathered cap from his head. He smiled to himself as the hall applauded, walking towards an empty seat beside Lily, who grinned warmly to welcome him.

"Congratulations!"

"Thanks, you too."

The hall quieted.

"Manson, Meghan."

"Hufflepuff!"

"Margaret, Clara" a girl with pure blonde hair stepped forward.

"Hufflepuff!"

"Miller, Elizabeth!"

"Gryffindor!" The girl came running over, and sat across from Remus.

"Montovani, Antonio."

"Slytherin."

"Nott, Cicero."

"Slytherin."

"Novara, Beatrice."

"Ravenclaw."

"Oswald, Blain."

"Ravenclaw."

"I'm staving!" whispered Ian. "When are we gunna eat?"

"Never. They want us to starve." said Sirius from down the table.

"Well, that's nice of them." said Jacob.

"Pane, Oliver."

"Don't worry." said a third year "Your year is really small. It will be through soon."

"Ravenclaw!"

"How many students are usually in each year?" asked the round faced girl, Alice.

"On average? About one hundred, usually a little less."

"Pettigrew, Peter."

"But we have half that!"

"Either there was a major decrease in population or people are actually taking threat of war seriously."

"War?" asked Lily

"Just rumors, most people don't think we should worry."

"But, who are we fighting?"

"Some crazy bloke. Not much is known about him, and like I said, just rumors. Disappearances. Not much else."

"Gryffindor!" yelled the hat. They clapped as a pudgy boy sat beside Remus.

"You don't think there will be a full out war though, do you?"

"Potter, James"

"Most people don't think so."

"Are you most people?" asked Alice

"Gryffindor!"

"No. My Mum is rather on top of things, reading between the lines and all. She thinks we ought to be careful."

Sirius moved over to make a space for his friend James.

"Reginald, George."

"I'm still starving." said Jacob

"Hufflepuff."

"It's not going to help just by saying it."

"Reins, Agatha"

"I don't care, I'm still hungry."

"Hufflepuff!"

They applauded politely once again.

"Rice, Salina."

"So, what's everyone talking about?" asked James

"The war threats." said Sirius

"Oh, yeah, my dad has been getting paranoid."

"Ravenclaw!"

"Your dad is paranoid about everything."

"Well… yeah."

"Ryan, Almena"

"I am so hungry!!" said James

"Shut up."

"Hufflepuff"

"Well, I am!"

"Yeah, but Jacob has been moaning since he sat down."

"Simmons, Amelia."

"Well, this is James Potter speaking, and I want food."

"This is Frank Longbottom speaking, and I say shut it or I'll silence you myself." said the third year, pointing his wand at James' face.

"Gryffindor!"

They clapped once more as a small freckled girl joined the table.

"Smith, Elijah!"

"Hufflepuff!"

"Snape, Severus."

Lily turned to watch her friend walk nervously forward, the hat covering his greasy head. After a moment….

"Slytherin!!"

Her shoulders sagged. She gave him another sad smile as he left her. She turned back and looked down at her empty plate.

"Lily?" asked Remus, "you okay?"

"Travis, Mary."

"Yeah." she sighed "I'm fine. I just thought, maybe…"

"You can still be friends, you didn't loose him."

"But, the houses are enemies, how would that work?"

"Hufflepuff!"

"No one can tear you apart but yourselves. The division of houses is only a state of mind."

"Williams, Robin"

"Where did you hear that?"

"I didn't hear it. I thought it. I mean it. It's not as if the school wants houses divided. Its just for dorm and quidditch purposes."

"Slytherin!"

"Your right Remus."

"Xavier, Jonathon."

Remus shrugged. "I hope so."

"Me too."

"Slytherin!"

"I am so bloody hungry!" said James

"That's it, your silenced." Frank drew his wand.

"Zantera, Ellen ."

"Wait!" said Alice "This is the last person!"

"Thank Merlin!"

"Slytherin!" they all cheered.

"Food! I need food!"

"Hold on. Dumbledore says a speech first."

Remus turned to see Professor Dumbledore ,in equally festive robes as when he last saw him, standing in the center of the staff table.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts. This, of course, is not the time for speech making, as I'm sure you are all ready to eat your plates. Please refrain, I understand they are not pleasant to digest. Dig in."

Food materialzed before them, And was devoured within an instant.

* * *

The boys gathered in a circle between two four poster beds. Sirius leaned casually against his mattress, talking to James, who lay on his own bed, messy hair sticking up terribly from the pillow. Remus sat with his knees drawn to his chest, His back pressed against James' bed. The pudgy boy named Peter sat beside him. the two Calldenwater triplets now sat beside Sirius, discussing, in awe, the grandeur of their dormitory.

"Why didn't they tell us it was like this! It's amazing!"

"Dad told me a little about it but Golly! I never would-"

Sirius snickered.

"What?"

"You said golly."

"Am I not suppose to?" said one of the boys, slightly put off.

"Never heard anyone use golly before!"

" Eh, let him say what he wants!" said the raven haired boy, a cocky smile etched across his face.

Everyone turned their attention to him.

"James Potter's the name." he said casually "And you?"

"Ian Calldenwater."

"Jacob Calldenwater."

"Triplets?"

They nodded.

"An' the other is a snake, with black hair, right?"

"That's Seth."

"Humph. You have family in the ministry?"

"Yeah, Floo Regulation. Our Dad. You?"

"My Dad was Head Auror." James said proudly

"was." stated the other black haired boy.

"Well…. Yeah!" said James "He retired! Problem, Sirius?"

"Nah, I was just-"

"Oh, you were just what, Black? Just-"

"Don't fight!" squeaked Peter.

They turned to Peter, looked him over a moment, and snorted

"Why is that funny?"

"Nothing, …. So-"

"Hold on." said Ian.

"What?"

"Sirius Black, from the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black?"

"Err, yeah? What's it to you?"

"Why aren't you in Slytherin with the rest of your family?"

Sirius looked as though he has been punched in the face. James covered for him.

"Why isn't Seth in Gryffindor with the rest yours?"

"Touché."

"Lets drop the subject! Err-"

Sirius eyed the triplets.

"Lets introduce ourselves some more! I'll start! I'm James Theophylaktos Potter, I'm eleven, I like quidditch. I'm the son of Vadoma and Theophylaktos Potter. I am the only person in my family with a normal name. And this year I plan to introduce the school poltergeist to water balloons."

"You wouldn't!" said the triplets

"But I would. Sirius, you're next."

"I'm Sirius Orion Black. I'm eleven. I don't give a damn who my parents are and neither should you. I am most proud of my amazing hair. And I plan to assist James in his quest to introduce Peeves to water Balloons, whatever those are!"

"They're just balloons filled with water that explode when they hit people."

"Even better than I thought!"

Ian cleared his throat.

"My name is Ian Andrew Calldenwater. Triplet of Jacob here. I am the champion of Exploding Snap. And I will be avoiding the poltergeist at all costs this year if you two introduce him to anything."

"Oh, we will, don't worry."

"I'm Jacob Anthony Calldenwater. I am terminated in Exploding Snap by Ian nearly every day. And that is my entire existence. Oh, I have an awesome chocolate frog card collection."

"Which he is loosing to me tomorrow when we play exploding snap!"

"I'm never playing that game again."

"Hi! I'm Peter Pettigrew, I have no middle name. I have two older sisters, one older brother, and a younger brother. My mum is Laura, and my dad is Benjamin, the new beater on the Falmouth Falcons!"

"Wicked!"

"Does he get you tickets?"

Peter nodded. James jumped down off his bed, and nudged Remus aside to put his arm around Peter.

"So, Peter, mate, … what do you want for Christmas?"

"Um.."

"Because, I would LOVE some free tickets."

"James, stop manipulating our new best mate."

"Fine. Ger. He's so perceptive sometimes. I might have to make an honest living with you around, Sirius."

Sirius snorted. "Not likely."

James turned to Remus.

"So, who are you?"

"R-Remus Lupin."

"Its grand to meet you Remus Lupin." he said, in exaggerated politeness "I'm James Theophylaktos Potter."

"So I've heard."

"So….." he let go of Peter and wrapped his arm around Remus "Tell us an interesting fact about yourself. Anything at all!" he spread his free arm wide.

"…."

"Something you like to do, a place you like to go, like to eat, drink, anything."

"I'm not all that interesting, to be honest." he said quietly.

"You have to have done something"

He shook his head.

"Fine, I'll make one up….Remus is the five time world champion of Water Polo! That's amazing Remus!"

"What's water polo?" Asked Sirius

"Some crackpot muggle sport the kids around my summer house like to play."

"Summer house?"

James shrugged "Our winter home is in Godric Hollow."

"How many houses do you have?"

"three… It might be two. I haven't gone to the third in a while, my parents could have sold it."

"So, you're filthy rich, basically?"

"Yep! Moving on…… So, who likes quidditch?"

* * *

(A/N) Sorry to stop it there. I already wrote way to much, and I had to update, or my friend Ariana would shoot me in the foot. There's your honorary mention for this chapter Ari! Hurray!

Oh, Honorary mention to my dad, who has the uncanny ability to create real sounding names on the spot, and has passed the ability on to me.

Also, mention to Jessie, I love you darling, but give me breaking dawn before someone gets hurt!! Brain twins for life!!

And a note to all you readers, I love you so much. Review please!! And, if you have an idea for a prank the marauders should pull, I have an original list of about 40 things, but of course there has to be more!!

I don't own Remus Lupin ,Sirius black, peter Pettigrew, or Hogwarts. I do however, own Ian Jacob and Seth calldenwater!! Hurray! Ha, score one for the fanfic. author!

That's it!! Whew! Long chapter, fun chapter. Read and review!!

Happy reading,

Valerie (I used my real name this time!!) J


	13. Chapter 13:the first few days

Remus was too tired to notice dragging himself out of bed and into the bathroom. Even as the hot water from the showers hit him, He could not wake up. The water just blanketed his in a drowsiness he could not decline. Pulling on his robes multiple times (his head had attempted to squeeze through an arm hole on his first attempt) Remus grabbed his book bag and made his way down to the Common room. Here he met Lily, though he was so asleep that he could only mumble a slight 'good morning'. She lead him to the Great Hall as he drifted through his sleepy haze, and sat him down, piling food onto her own plate before he could finally blink himself awake.

"Not a morning person then?" she asked with a chuckle, watching him rub his eyes repetitively.

He shook his head, and grabbed a piece of toast.

"One of the prefects told me we get our schedules during breakfast. I thought you wouldn't mind one yourself."

Remus rested his elbows on the table, propping up his head as he looked down at his plate.

"Are you going to stare at that toast all morning, or are you actually going to eat it?"

He took a small bite. Lily looked toward the front of the hall, and rose from her seat.

"I'll get you a schedule."

she returned in what seemed like seconds.

"We have every class together! Charms first ….. Where is that?"

"Charms hallway." he said bluntly

"Where is _that_?"

Remus shrugged.

"Maybe I'll ask a prefect,….. Do you want some… some coffee or something?" He lifted his head off his plate, not quite aware that it had drifted from his hand.

"Sure." the cup appeared in front of him. He took a sip, and nearly spat it out. He struggled to swallow.

"Ugh! What is that?"

"Coffee…. You never had any?"

"No. It smells a lot different."

She scooped some sugar in and stirred. "Try sugar."

He drank it.

"It still tastes funny."

"You're awake now though."

"it's a miracle." he said, rubbing his eye again. "So, Charms is……?"

"I think it might be in an east hallway…… which way is east?"

"That way." he pointed to their left.

"Really? How do you know?"

"Sense of direction….. We're going to get lost on our way. We should leave now."

"You barely ate anything."

"I'm not hungry. Come on." He hoisted his bag over his shoulder and led their way out of the hall.

They made it to Charms with two minutes to spare, having taken a trick staircase on the way. They entered a virtually empty classroom, and took their seats towards the front. The pair watched as a group of giggling Ravenclaw girls came in, followed by Ian and Jacob, who looked as if they had run all the way from the great hall. A girl Remus recognized as Alice Drew came in just seconds before the bell, and sat down on Lily's other side. A tall, round man in burgundy robes appeared towards the front on the classroom. Professor Danwood, he said his name was. His wrinkled face sagged down like a bulldog, and his voice resembled its low bark.

As he spoke, Remus wrote. Soon, only a monotony of words came to him in his notes, as he tried but failed to block out the scratch of every quill in the room. A flutter of paper, a cross out, someone curled their fingers back and forth against some parchment. His head began to throb at the noise, the scent of ink creating a strange sensation in his nose. Someone was rapping their foot against the wood of a table. He looked over at Lily, watching her fluid writing, which barely made a sound. He tore a piece of parchment, scribbled something, and handed it to her. She took it, gave him an annoyed look, and wrote back.

_I don't know when this class ends, but you should be paying attention._

_Sorry _he wrote back

The bell rang, and the quills stopped. Remus let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. He rubbed his eye. The little caffeine he had drank had wore off quickly. Now his body seemed to move very slowly.

"Potions next." said Lily as she put away her parchment. "In the dungeons. How do we get there?"

"Go down, I suppose."

"Thanks Captain Obvious. Come on, lets go."

* * *

"Potions is unlike any magic you will use in your years here. It is an exact art, a creative chemistry. Precision, is the key. Now, let's see now……. Potter! Can you recognize any of these potions in front of me?"

James looked up from an elaborate doodle.

"Erm……. That one, there." he pointed towards goopy looking potion that reminded Remus of a sort of boiling chowder. "Polyjuice Potion. I think. Or it could just be throw up."

"Very good Mr. Potter, I assure you it is not throw up. But Polyjuice Potion, a tricky little brew. About a month's time to create, depending on how well it stews and when the full moon is. Can anyone tell me what it does?"

Lily's hand shot up like lightning, as well as Severus'. Remus kept his hand down. He didn't want any attention on him at the moment.

"Ah, Miss….?"

"Evans, Sir. Lily Evans."

"Well than Miss Evans, what exactly is the purpose of this potion?"

"It changes the outward appearance of the drinker to match that of who they took something of, such as hair, or blood."

"Very well put. What are the downfalls of this potion- Miss Evans again! Delightful!"

"The potion wears off after only an hour, and does not change all characteristics of the drinker. Posture can be a dead giveaway."

"5 points to Gryffindor young lady. Simply marvelous."

Lily blushed through her smile.

"Wonderful." murmured Slughorn, looking around the class for a familiar face or name. "Lets see now……. Black! What is the name of this potion here."

Sirius looked up lazily. "Shrinking solution."

He went back to a game of hangman with Peter, who seemed to be getting frustrated more and more as the man walked towards the gallows.

"What exactly does the shrinking solution do Mr. Black?"

" It can cause an organism to revert back to an earlier state….. No Peter, there is no A's."

"…..Good. Hmm. Mr. Nott. What are the effects of a swelling solution?"

"Swelling, sir."

"Correct, if not blunt. 5 points to slytherin. Let's see now. Who can tell me the difference….. Ah! Mr. Snape ! Tell me the difference between Monkswood and Aconite?"

Remus could have sworn he saw Slughorn glance towards him.

"There is no difference sir. Both are a plant known as Wolfsbane."

"Good, Now can you tell me what these are commonly used for?"

"They're used in commercial healing balms to ensure quick remedial relief, though it is not very thorough."

"Good! 5 points to Slytherin. By Mr. Snape's comment we can tell just how important brewing your on potions is. Remember, Be the brewer, not the brewed. You are the master of the potion. You can control how it works for you. Ready-made just won't cut it! Now now…….. Mr.……. Lupin! Lets make this difficult now. What is the main ingredient of a memory potion?"

"J-Jobberknoll feathers, sir."

"Can anyone tell me where the Jobberknoll is found?"

Slughorn waited a moment, but no hands rose.

"Oh, come now! Give it a guess, a the very least! Ms. Williams! Give it a try."

The girl Robin Williams gave Professor Slughorn a death glare.

"Jobberknoll?" she mumbled feebly.

"Not quite. Wonderful guess though. Jobberknoll's are actually the common raven, if you would believe that!

Slughorn looked down at his watch.

"I believe that is it for today, if you didn't take notes, don't worry. Review of what we need to know is on Monday. Well done all off you. Mr. Nott, tell your father thank you for the crystallized pineapple. Always my favorite. Alright! Dismissed! Have a good first week children, don't get stuck with peeves. If you do tell him the Baron sent you!"

* * *

_Dear Dad,_

_I'm in Gryffindor. I thought I should tell you now since you were probably wondering. _

_How is everything at home? Are you living with Mum now? _

_I made a friend already, on the train, who is also in Gryffindor. Her name is Lily Evans. She's really wonderful, and has already memorized about half of the curriculum for this term. I'm glad she's studious; I thought I would be the only student in my year to know the material. Lily likes to draw, and is sitting across from me right now, making a sketch entitled "Remus Writing". This letter might be a bit long, since I'm her model. _

_Lily and I have every class together, so when I got lost on the way to potions two days ago, I had someone to get lost with. This castle is so big! Hopefully I can manage to learn my way around by next week. If not, the teachers will transform Lily into a map, as they threatened. A map really would be great, but I prefer when It's not made of someone I know…_

_My roommates are….. Entertaining. James Potter and Sirius Black are already partners in crime. They like to joke around, which is funny when their jokes aren't aimed at me. But they already introduced Peeves to water balloons. This morning I was drenched on my way to Transfiguration. I hope the way they're acting doesn't last….. Or at least I hope I'm not in the line of fire. My other roommates, Jacob, Ian, and Peter, are nice. Ian and Jacob seem witty, but I don't really know them, though I did talk to Peter yesterday during Herbology. _

_How Is Mum? Is she angry? I hope she isn't, but I know better. Please tell her I'm sorry, and I miss her. Ask her if she would write to me. _

_Write back soon. I really miss you. I can't wait to hear back._

_Your Son,_

_Remus_

"Lily, I'm finished."

"I'm not." she said briskly, looking up from her sketch pad "Just pretend. I'll be done really soon."

He placed his quill on the parchment, staring at it dully.

"Perfect. Stay there."

Remus let his quill hover a centimeter above the paper, pretending to write.

"Alright, that's it."

"May I see?"

"No." she slid her pad under a textbook. "Sorry, I don't let anyone see my sketches."

"Okay."

"…. Did you finish your survey for Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

"Yeah"

"Er, What did 'my favorite breakfast food' have to do with anything?"

"Maybe they were thinking of poisoning our morning pancakes." said Remus.

"I think Professor Berkeley just wants to get to know her students…. In a weird, straight forward way."

Lily picked up the survey from the table before them, and read through the questions.

" 'If you find a bag of Galleons on the street, with no tags indicating it's origin or owner, what do you do?' I put give it to charity." she answered amiably

"I said I would leave it there. Because it could be cursed."

"That's a good, paranoid answer."

Remus shrugged, and Lily read the next question "' What dueling stance is your preference?…… None of our books cover dueling. "

"In an alert, ready position, with a clear view of my opponent if possible."

"Sounds good." She yawned "I'm going to turn in."

"Alright. Good night."

She rose, and gathered her things. Just as she made to leave, she turned back to Remus.

"You should get some sleep too. "

Remus smiled a lightly "I'll try. Tomorrow's a weekend. I'll sleep the day away."

"Alright. Sweet dreams."

"You too." Remus let himself drift off in front of the fire.

* * *

(A/N) Sorry it took me so long to update, and that this chapter isn't the best. I wrote it while I should have been doing my chemistry homework. ;)

Thanks you thank you thank you to all who reviewed. You make me happy :)

Read and Review, much love and cookies to those who do.

Happy reading,

Valerie

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\/ the magical road of arrows shall lead you to what makes the author VERY happy!!

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